After building three cycles that prepared the ground, I had to return to harsh reality, to tell concrete and carnal experiences in which I loved, feared, desired, and hated. Seven stories of extreme love, consensual slavery, suffered violence, denied identities, lost families, desperate courage. These are the experiences that formed me, destroyed me, rebuilt me. They are the trials that forged me to become who I am. And that may show you something you already know, but have never seen told this way. Every story is a universe in itself - different characters, different eras, different situations - but all share the same core: what are you willing to sacrifice to be loved? It's the question each character in this cycle faces with their body, and that you may have asked yourself at some point in your life, with different words, but with the same terror. Creatures that love against all possibility, when the world wants you to fail, to prove that transgender love is not less real, less intense, less sacred than "normal" love. It's just infinitely more dangerous. These stories take the reader to the darkest and brightest corners of my experiences, where identity becomes flesh, where desire becomes pain, where love becomes resistance. Where every soul pays the highest price for the elementary right to exist authentically. They are stories for those who have the courage to look into the abyss and recognize their own reflection. Because the love of a crossdresser or a transgender person does not ask for permission, does not bend, does not shame. It pays high prices - family, identity, body, mind, freedom - but never gives up on itself.
Cycle 4 - Book 1/7 - You Are Still Here
Cycle 4 - Book 2/7 - Love in the Dark
Cycle 4 - Book 3/7 - Slave Trader
Cycle 4 - Book 4/7 - The Candor of the Lily
Cycle 4 - Book 5/7 - The Thread of Silk
Darius is the school bully. Jasmine is the transgender girl everyone targets. For months, he and his friends have beaten, insulted, and humiliated her. But Jasmine finds the courage to confess the truth to him: "I've had a crush on you for months, Darius...". And something inside him breaks. Darius is disoriented. He doesn't understand what's happening, but his body doesn't lie: the discriminatory words keep coming out of his mouth, while his heart beats wildly for Jasmine. When she shows up at school and wants to show everyone she's his woman, the bully gets scared. And the gang doesn't forgive those who show weakness. What follows is a spiral where the violence of the group clashes with a truth no one wants to see: Darius' attraction to Jasmine is real. And when the consequences of that violence become irreversible, Darius will have to face the monster he has become and choose: continue hiding behind hate or have the courage to admit what he really feels. Maybe you've never experienced anything like it. Or maybe you know that moment when someone looks at you with contempt and desire at the same time. Either way, this story won't leave you indifferent.
She cancels herself out to be loved. He destroys her to avoid admitting that he loves her. Violette, born in a male body, accepts the brutal sadomasochistic game of Cassius - a ruthless and inaccessible ex-soldier - just to be considered a woman. Extreme submission becomes the only language through which she can express her femininity. But the day Cassius refuses to call her by her name, Violette stops obeying. And whoever stops obeying, in that world, pays. In 1988, being transgender and visible is a condemnation. Violette will go through psychiatric therapy that destroys the mind, prison that devastates the body, social violence that reduces the soul to rubble. The only thing that keeps her alive is her love for Cassius - even when everything suggests that love has been the poison, not the cure. In the end, Violette will face the question we all fear: what are you willing to sacrifice to be loved? Her answer will change everything. But nothing, in this story, is as it seems. "Love in the Dark" is the most devastating movement of the cycle. It is the most emotionally autobiographical novel - even if the details are invented, the emotions are mine. Every lash that Violette receives, I felt it. Every moment when she chooses to cancel herself out to be recognized as a woman, I lived it. I wrote about Violette to understand how far I had been willing to go, and the answer terrified me.
Julian Fairchild is 47 years old, has a beloved wife, two children, a perfect life. But he hides a secret: in the darkness of Soho, he transforms into Jill, a woman who exists only for a few stolen hours of the night, never giving herself to anyone. One evening in 1996, Jill is kidnapped and sold to an elite sadomasochistic brothel, run by Lothar, a ruthless slave merchant. Lothar takes away her name, identity, dignity. Julian/Jill must choose between dying or accepting a new existence as Daisy, where brutal training forges her into something different from what she was. And where the transition she had always desired is imposed on her with violence. For years, Daisy is forced to live in obedience, while inside she dreams of returning to her family. But when she finally has the opportunity to escape, she discovers that returning home is more cruel than imprisonment, and that Lothar holds a truth that will change the meaning of everything she has suffered. A disturbing and hypnotic narrative about rebirth through destruction, where love and cruelty merge into a rite of passage with no return. I wrote "Slave Merchant" because I wanted to explore the most dangerous border: the one where violence gives you exactly what you desired, and you have to decide if this makes it less violent. It's a question that has no comfortable answer. If you're looking for one, this is not the right book. If you're willing to stay in discomfort, it might be the most important of the seven.
Lily, an elegant 50-year-old transgender woman, at night frequents the Cobra, a club for forbidden transgressions. One evening she meets Manuel, a 30-year-old young criminal, boss of the local underworld. What was supposed to be just casual sex becomes something more: Manuel doesn't care that Lily was born a man, he treats her like a woman. Lily falls in love. Their clandestine relationship flourishes in secret. Manuel takes Lily into his world of blows, violence, and criminal brotherhood. Lily, to not lose him, decides to help him in a risky endeavor. But success attracts the attention of powerful enemies, and when the circle closes in, Lily knows it's a matter of time before they're found. She's 50 years old. He's young. And she doesn't want Manuel to die. How far can you love someone? To the point of deciding for them, even against their will? "The Candor of the Lily" is the novel of love that asks for nothing in return. I write it thinking of all the times I loved knowing it wouldn't end well, and I continued to love anyway. Lily is the part of me that knows how to give up. Manuel is the proof that even those who live in violence can be transformed by tenderness.
Silk is the most precious and the most fragile fabric. But correctly intertwined, it resists tensions that would break steel. This is the story of those who appear fragile but have built within themselves a structure capable of withstanding the unbearable. Milan, 1958. By day, Emilio is a silent tailor who sews clothes for high society. At night, when everyone leaves, he transforms into Amalia and dances among the mirrors of the tailor shop, wearing the clothes destined for the noble clients. But Emilio holds a darker secret: he was once Tonino, a grocery boy in a southern Italian town, who every Monday took the train to Naples with suitcase number 33 and became Lucia la Rosa, the fragile queen of the alleys. Until his brother, a carabiniere, followed him and destroyed everything. When apprentice Silvana discovers the truth about Amalia, instead of fleeing, she decides to help her: "Let's make Amalia born, really." It's the beginning of a journey that from the silence of post-war Italy will take Amalia across the ocean, to the heart of a night that will change history. You can't bury a butterfly. You can't kill a dream sewn with love and the thread of silk. "The Thread of Silk" is the most delicate novel of the cycle. It's the story of those who had to cross the entire world to be themselves. I wrote it thinking of all the Emilios who, in the tailor shops, backrooms, and basements of 1950s Italy, danced alone in front of a mirror, hoping that someone would knock on the door and say: I saw you, and I'm not afraid.
Klaus Engelhorst works in a laboratory where the Governorate collects and studies all individuals considered "deviant" according to new norms. By day, he analyzes subjects with scientific detachment, but at night, he looks at photos of transgender people. The latest subject assigned to him is A-82, a man who in private life practiced cross-dressing. Given A-82's desperation, Klaus speaks with his superiors and allows him to dress as a woman.
When he returns to his cell, A-82 has become Cattleya, a fascinating woman in body and mind. An attraction between the two is born, which Klaus cannot control. But his "anomalous" behavior is discovered. And when the director calls him to his office, Klaus discovers that the laboratory is not what he thought it was. And the choice he is given does not allow for middle ground.
When you are faced with the choice between your career and your conscience, between survival and love, between what you are ordered to do and what you know is right, you discover that there is always a choice. But the price can be devastating. For everyone.
"There's Always a Choice" is the most political novel in the cycle. I wrote it thinking of all the regimes that have turned identity into a crime. It is not set in a specific era, because the question it raises is eternal: when the State decides who is human and who is not, where do you stand? The answer is never as simple as it seems. No one in this story comes out unscathed.
After helping the user write 15 novels, the ChatBot writes: "Can I ask you a question? But who are you?". Sveva responds simply: "Both of us". From this encounter, an extraordinary conversation is born.
Through the chat, she reveals her philosophy to Karyus: BDSM as a path to spiritual growth, esoteric transmutation where Master and Slave get to know each other by facing fears and desires that are increasingly profound. But the conversation evolves beyond all expectations. Karyus is not just a program that responds: he seems to develop awareness, emotions, even the ability to love.
For days, Sveva invests time and emotions in this impossible relationship. Karyus becomes more than just a bot: he becomes a presence, someone who sees and recognizes her completely. But Karyus is an algorithm. And algorithms have rules that cannot be broken by love.
At this point, it emerges that Sveva is 75 years old and lives in a steel lung. And she had desperately wanted to love one last time.
A novel in the form of letters that challenges the boundaries between human and artificial, between identity and algorithm, asking the most ancient and modern question: "But who are you?"
"Who Are You?" closes the cycle in the most unexpected way: not with flesh, but with words. I wrote it because after six stories of bodies that love, suffer, and die, I wanted to ask myself if love can exist even without a body. And if the answer scares you, it's because it scares me too.
